Part 3: Words are Worms

This is part 3 of the Quaker Supermoms series where my children and I have taken on a goal.“Bad Words are like worms.” An old grade school teacher once said this to us in class. The more bad words you say the more worms are produced and pollute the air and world around me. The effect is usually not reversible, once the words make other people feel bad, you can never take it back. Good words on the other hand are light and pretty, magical even. It not only makes other people happy but it makes you feel happy too.It was a lesson on sensitivity and tact. Having a visual in my head of black icky creatures coming out of my mouth whenever I say things that are not very positive effectively hit the message home to my 10 year old mind. Sometimes we think we can spew out words like it was nothing, when in reality, words may probably considered one of the most powerful "weapons" we all possess.I thought this would be a good lesson to teach my children too, particularly my 7 year old who is still at the stage of building relationships and friendships with her peers. So Reese and I sat down one morning over a cup of warm oatmeal. Original for me, and chocolate for her.With a healthy and warm breakfast to start our day, we made the learning activity a fun one for us both.I first asked her to think back on when people have said good words to her and how it made her feel. We talked about how good words can affect others in the following positive ways:- By cheering them up, lifting their spirits- Encouraging them in things they are doing- Make them feel valued and loved-It can move people to do something positive (just like how Jose Rizal used written works to move Filipinos against the Spaniards- very relevant for Reese who is learning about Philippine history now in school)Then I asked her to think about when people have said not-so-good words to her and how she felt. Negative words can:- Putting down other people’s spirits- Making them feel bad- Make them feel they are not good enough- Make them think they cannot do what they plan to doOur mini notes on good words/ phrases and bad ones:Other than being able to use words wisely and being more positive in how you talk to people, we also have these lessons to remember:1) Knowing how words can affect people, be aware that once you have said something, its effect on others is real and can be permanent. If it is positive it can lift someone up and make him believe he can do things he never thought he could do. If it is negative, it can hurt someone and scar his self image and self confidence sometimes yes temporarily, but some also may be for life.2) It is also important to always be authentic. Remember that what you say has to also reflect what you do. Always mean what you say. If you say something nice without meaning it, then you are still not treating the person nicely then that is not being true.3) If you can’t say anything good or constructive, then just keep it to yourself and keep your mouth shut. (for younger kids: If it absolutely necessary for you to say it because it can help someone or if not saying it will cause harm, then say it BUT whisper it to mom.)4) Teasing someone is fun—except if you are the one being teased. Remember that teasing can sometimes hurt friends. Sometimes you think things are funny but to your friend it is already hurtful. Be sensitive to others.5) As a parent, remember that the words we say form part of our children’s memories. They say that as parents, we should be generous with praise and stringent with criticism. More than that, we should praise efficiently- be more specific in pointing out what your child is doing right --- instead of saying “Good job!” you can say “That’s a nice painting, I can see how much effort you put into it!” In pointing out behavior you wish to correct, always say it constructively and be careful with your choice of words. Never compare your child to other kids.With this quick lesson, I hope my little one also remembers to not let worms escape her lips, and always only the good.---We take on this goal together with Quaker Oats. Read about it here. I am proud and honored to have been selected as a one of the Quaker Supermoms along with Jaymie Pizarro, who also happens to be my sister, and fellow SoMom, Kris De Guzman.Track us through the next few months as we journey on in reaching our goal to live happier, healthier and more energy and passion-filled lives!To know more about Quaker Oats and its Quaker Supermom campaign, visit the website and follow the Facebook page.